Grieving

Resolving the unresolved

27 October 2013

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. Those who know that their life may be coming to an end tend to want to get their affairs in order and make amends with anyone they have a fragile relationship and unresolved issues with. But what about the relationships where you lost someone suddenly and hadn’t had […]

Forgive and let go

31 May 2013

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. One of the earliest emotions that recently bereaved people report feeling is anger. The perfect antidote to anger is forgiveness. When you face the loss of a loved one, particularly when it’s a sudden loss, you may find yourself plagued with a whole host of emotions, ranging from […]

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. How weird is this life? I could be sitting with you having a coffee and enjoying a laugh together, and then moments later I could be dead. Just like that. A sudden collapse My sister-in-law was on the phone with me this evening — she explained how earlier […]

Losing a second child

14 January 2013

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. It’s difficult enough losing one son. But to lose a second to the same medical condition — that’s not easy for any mother to deal with. Earlier this week I spoke with the mother of a classmate who passed away. Her son was a decent guy, a talented […]

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. Following the loss of a loved one, no two days are ever the same. They never will be. You may have gone through a low period for a while and gradually things were starting to feel better. Then out of nowhere, a bout of anger or sadness suddenly […]

Poem by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. A young man lost his father. It hurts too much. Recently married with a demanding new life. With his father now gone, he blamed his wife. It hurt so much that he started to drink. It hurt so much that he had not paused to think. The damage […]

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. One of the biggest regrets for those who have lost a loved one is that they never got a chance to say goodbye, or how much they loved them. I read in the local paper how a young man who appeared to have taken his life, had told his […]

Podcast by Suraj Shah and Bridgette Mongeon In June 2012, I was interviewed by Bridgette Mongeon of GodsWord.net. Bridgette is a sculptor who helps bereaved people come to terms with their loss.  She engages clients in a patient process of open-hearted questioning which gradually helps form a sculpture of their loved one. In the podcast, we […]

Written by Suraj Shah, inspired by greatness. Upon losing someone, do you feel there’s no-one you can talk to? Even with loads of people around who try hard to make sure you’re not left on your own, it’s still so easy to feel alone. But there is a way through it. A new reader of […]

Written by Suraj Shah, inspired by the enlightened. A grandmother is a source of great love, patience and kindness, subtly balancing lightness and strength. Through her day-to-day presence, she keeps the family together, diffusing minor mundane conflicts and building bonds of support. We often taken it for granted that she will be around forever, but […]

Sweet elderly lady

28 April 2012

Poem by Suraj Shah. Sweet elderly lady, that lives just three doors down, Used to smile broadly, now carries a slight frown. Lived with her husband for sixty magnificent years, With his recent passing, she is overcome with tears. She struggles to cook, craves help from her man, Can’t manage alone, can’t even lift a saucepan. […]

Calm inducing rituals

27 April 2012

Written by Suraj Shah. Soon after the death of a loved one, emotions are all over the place. There is so much to organise. Relatives fly in from around the world. Family and friends call up and come round to support, arriving early and staying till late. During such a delicate time, close family members experiencing […]

Written by Suraj Shah. I feel like when my patients die, I definitely do spend a moment reflecting on the patient but mostly thinking of the families and those moments always truly humble me, because it reminds me that in a few days I will likely not think of that moment, but those families will […]

Post image for Community and mutual support

Editor’s note: In this guest post, Dr. Tushar Mehta writes about how spirituality and connection to a community makes a huge difference, and how people can evolve even at a late age. “Parasparopagraho Jivanam” All life is bound together by mutual support and interdependence My grandfather passed away 2 days ago, and we just had […]

4 stages of bereavement

5 October 2011

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness. From shock to strength: it does get better In our day to day lives, loss affects each of us on some scale. There can be smaller losses such as dropping some loose change from a pocket, or a slight scratch on a brand new car. At other times […]

Missing mum, 5 years on

24 September 2011

Post image for Missing mum, 5 years on

Written by Suraj Shah. Who has been present in the major events of your life? In a timeline exercise I did one evening last week, I discovered a common thread – the importance of one single person throughout my life. Timeline’s are more powerful than you realise. They help trace out the major events that […]

Man at the edge of the dock, looking up at the clouds

Written by Suraj Shah. You’ll see the sky is clear, you’ll find you’re free from fear, The peace you feel is real, and your life is again filled with zeal. When you’re struggling in life, facing so much pain and strife, When you’re filled with despair, feeling that life is beyond repair, Let me show […]

9/11 didn’t affect me

12 September 2011

People viewing the photographic tributes and memorials at Ground Zero, New York

Written by Suraj Shah. When mass death takes place and you’re not there, how does it affect you? We all saw that something big was going down. It shook the whole world, it stopped everyone in their tracks, yet 9/11 didn’t affect me. “Where were you when it happened?” is what was often asked following […]

Father’s shelter

9 June 2011

Post written by Suraj Shah. Father: one who provides, protects, and creates the environment for growth. As young children in the playground at school, we would often boast “my daddy is the best!” What makes your father the best? When it comes to my dad, I certainly appreciate how he has always been our provider […]

Post written by Suraj Shah. If you heard that a teacher you admire has just died, how would you react? When I was studying for my GCSEs, I was struggling with physics. Fortunately, mum had hired a private tutor to help me align with the subject better. Mr Wynston, an admired physics tutor Mr Wynston […]