Fewer buts, more brilliance

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness.

When you live your day without a ‘but’, notice how it massively improves your life.

Any well-intentioned comment that has a ‘but’ in it negates everything that precedes it.

For example:

“You look beautiful, but I’m not sure about those shoes.”

“That project was delivered on time and within budget – great job. But next time, consider xyz.”

“I agree with your point, but my point is better.”

The ‘but’ in the comment merely discolours the greatness that could have been.

There is a time and a place for constructive criticism. Keep it minimal and focus on illuminating others’ brilliance.

“You look beautiful.”

“Great job delivering that project on time and within budget.”

“Yes, I absolutely agree.”

Through the strength of that affirmation and the acknowledgement of their presence, you’ll find that your own light shines brighter.

That’s where magnificence resides.

Isolated

“The house was once filled with kids, but since my wife passed away…”, says the 63 year old man, “… nobody visits anymore – they’re all so busy with their own lives.”

The death of a loved one, particularly a husband or wife, can bring about loneliness. It can make you feel isolated, unwanted, unloved.

In the midst of isolation, seek that which brings calm and purpose in your life.

Missing loved ones during significant life events

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness.

It’s been a while since your loved one passed away. Then one day, a significant life event takes place and boom – you’re flooded with mixed emotions.

On the one hand, you’re celebrating this special occasion – be it a family wedding or the birth of a baby. Yet, there’s a gap in your heart. You miss that loved one oh so dearly.

Your thoughts are swamped with feelings of regret. Perhaps your mother couldn’t be there on your wedding day. Perhaps your father was no longer around on the day your first child came into this world.

What about grandma who was no longer here when you graduated from school, or landed your first promotion at work?

What about your husband or wife, who you’d spent half your life with, not being around to experience the joy of being a grandparent alongside you?

It’s not just the happy stuff though, is it?

What about all the difficult circumstances and choices that these important life events bring? Whether it’s now having to play the role of mother AND father to your children during their happy moments.

Then there are those, who are just forgotten about. Ignored. Neglected.

Each of us, and the people who we care about, are going through some fairly significant events in our lives.

I hope we can look up every once in a while, and take care with those around us. Being mindful of what they are going through, how can we help them feel loved? The very same love that you and I need?