It’s bad enough losing a loved one. It sucks. But for them to die before their time — it’s unjust.
The newly retired grandmother who was looking forward to playing with her grandchildren but got struck by a deadly virus.
The recently unemployed father killed by the police officer who was meant to protect him.
The depressed young professional who lost his job and jumped in front of a train.
The excited mother-to-be who died during childbirth.
The teenager who got knocked over by a reckless driver in a speeding car.
The playful infant who drowned when he fell in the pool.
The stillborn baby girl who had her whole life ahead of her.
It doesn’t make sense. How can this world be so cruel? It doesn’t seem fair.
On the face of it, it’s not fair.
Contemplating on the true nature of this world
Why should someone die at such as young age? Did they not deserve to live a long healthy life? Did I not deserve to have more time with them?
As we go through life, we discover that loss is inevitable. No matter how much we might want someone to come into our life or to stay with us forever, the reality is that when it’s our time, or their time, that will be it.
We see again and again how anything which comes to form will inevitably fall away. All things that I can see, hear, taste, touch and smell — all this will at some point break, melt, evaporate, burn, disintegrate or in some way no longer remain as what I might know it to be.
I could become furious about this loss, this injustice. I could shout and scream. But will it change what was meant to be? What I realise is that it will just hurt me further.
What if I was to become so numb and heartless that the series of losses in life need never hurt me again? Well, that might appear to work for a while, but it saps all energy. What a waste of life, a missed opportunity for self-realisation, for deep growth and to unleash the soul.
Applying the lens of kindness to myself and to the world
So what’s the alternative?
Let me cultivate a zest for life and compassion within.
Let me see the reality of the situation and be kind to myself.
Let me focus on that which can make a positive difference to me and the world around me.
Let me relentlessly pursue the quest to discover that which is permanent, that which is dependable, that which will bring rise to great calm and true joy.
The world is suffering, yet we have the power to heal ourselves and the world around us. By contemplating on the true nature of reality and recognising the transitory nature of this world, may I become empowered to lead a calm and purposeful life.
Dear Suraj Shah,
Your piece resonates. Yes -so many losses and so many afflictions .
When my 48 yo cousin (Princeton grad, Navy pilot, engineer of the BART in SF… the darling of the family), died of liver cancer. He had said to me, “_____, (his wife of only a few years) and I feel cheated. ” I had answered, “There are so many ways to feel cheated in this life…”
It’s true, isn’t it? My husband died at 61 of pancreatic cancer.
I try not to feel deprived but it’s there.
At some point I decided for his sake, my children’s sake and my own- I would LIVE a whole life and develop all my senses and mind.
Went to China for five years to teach at a university, traveled on the cheap and read, read,read. Home now, gardening, teaching my little grandchildren and being kind to those I meet and know take up my energy. REALLY, what else is there? We take only our spirit with us in the end. Best wishes
So inspirational
The recently unemployed father killed by the police officer who was meant to protect him.
But will it change what was meant to be?
Surely, you are not saying this is meant to be? Yes, it may have happened. But African Americans are not meant to be
bodies for the police to practice target
shooting. Self actualization is not the answer to police violence and brutality.
So so Beautiful. Thank you.