Following the loss of a loved one, no two days are ever the same. They never will be.
You may have gone through a low period for a while and gradually things were starting to feel better. Then out of nowhere, a bout of anger or sadness suddenly hits you – knocks you for six.
Perhaps a couple of days later you feel better, lighter, calmer. Then without warning you smell something that reminds you of them and you immediately crash into gloominess.
Ups and downs and ups and downs and some more downs. Just like an emotional roller coaster.
You know, that’s just how it is – and it’s ok.
Don’t feel you have to get better everyday. Time doesn’t heal. Patience does.
Give yourself a break. Don’t feel you have to get better because “it’s been a month now and you SHOULD be over it”. There’s no real getting over it, and don’t let anyone force you to get over it. If need be, gently explain how you feel, and then ignore their (at times well-intended, at times manipulative) words of advice.
It’s real for you. Very real. No-one knows how real it feels other than you.
Watch it, observe it, let it pass.
Observe the highs and let them pass.
Observe the lows and let them pass.
Gently over time the roller coaster will settle, releasing you from its grip, letting you enjoy your afternoon in the park.