Adventure following loss

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness.

Following a significant loss, some people are consumed by a state of depression, while others find a way to get beyond their suffering and lead a life of adventure.

My dad had just returned from a last-minute two-week adventure in Florida and the Bahamas. Now in his late 50s but living with the spirit of a man in his 30s, he was enthusiastically telling me about all the watersport activities he took part in.

While jet-skiing, he went super fast, with no worries about falling off – he was wearing a life jacket and there were coast guards all around in case of emergency.

When snorkelling, he jumped off a platform over two storeys high to get into the water – just to beat a 20 minute wait going down the normal route – again with life guards around in case he needed help.

As he was telling me all this and more with eyes lit up, I knew he’d had a whale of a time.

In essence, living by example, here’s what he was telling me:

  • It’s ok to take risks: Do a little planning, take the necessary precautions, step a little outside your comfort zone, but surely take a leap.

  • Have fun: This life is hard enough as it is – don’t weigh yourself down further with stresses or worries. Enjoy what you do, whatever you do.

  • Life is for living: This life is rare. This moment is precious. Who knows what will happen later in life. Live with zeal. Live with adventure.

This September it will be 7 years since mum died, but for my dad, he seems to have really embraced life. I have noticed as he has transitioned over the last few years, from frustration and sadness, through to zeal and adventure. Most of all, he’s taken life by the reins, rather than letting it rule him. I’m proud of him for leading by example.

Dad, on this special day, I wish you a very happy birthday. You’re awesome. Enjoy your celebratory weekend ahead filled with fun and adventure.

Love,
Suraj

The other option

Written by Suraj Shah. Inspired by greatness.

In life there are difficult choices to make, but they need never bring rise to stress. In the face of difficulty, there’s always the option to choose the path of least resistance.

Most days we run on autopilot. There are many small decisions to be made throughout the day, but rarely anything too hard. It’s not as if we’re a president of a country or anything. My decisions most days are around:

  • breakfast: choco hoops or porridge oats?
  • drive to work: listen to the radio or a CD?
  • at the office: archive the email or delete?
  • in bed: read first or go to sleep?

You’ll agree, these are mostly tiny mundane choices – not really worth spending any real time deliberating over.

Then there are the other days when an event knocks me for six. At that moment, I really do have to make an important decision, the result of which will impact my future and the lives of those around me.

There are some situations where it might even feel like “I’ve got no option but to….”, where it feels like my right to choose has been taken away from me and I must go down a certain path, or else.

What troubles us is not the activity that we need to carry out. What troubles us is how we think we’ll behave when we perform that task. We forsee having to do it grudgingly and feeling horrible inside.

It needn’t be that way.

In those times, it’s important to do the work that needs to be done – we have a duty to perform our role and fulfil that task.

So how about this for an approach. Do it. Just for fun. Do it anyway. Enjoy it. Be enthused in it. Start it and see what happens.

The other option is not choosing another task. The other option is choosing that particular task, having some fun and getting it done.

Last day living

Written by Suraj Shah, inspired by the enlightened.

How would you live if this day was your last?

For the past few days I’ve been living just like that and I’m loving it. I feel great, relationships are so much fuller, and the most ordinary of tasks are intensely engaging.

Our mundane lives and routines

So many days we waste and so much time we throw away living our mundane lives.

Our days are fixed with routine, jam-packed with activities, loaded with reality-numbing habits of too much food and far too much TV.

We indulge in regrets of the past and we scheme plans for the future – but what about the right here, right now?

Our days tend to be spent getting jolted out of bed, sleepily getting ready, commuting to the office, working just enough to stay out of trouble, commuting back home, sitting in front of the TV all evening while inhaling down masses of food, and then drifting off to sleep. Weekends are almost the same, perhaps minus the work part.

We’re constantly wired on the net and on our phones, trying to keep up with our ‘friends’. Yet we know, deep down, that it is all a distraction — a way to shelter us from facing up to our mundane lives.

So what’s the alternative?

Throw away the TV, switch off the net, sell your house and all your possessions, leave your spouse and kids, drop all duties and go spend a few dozen months in some ashram in Rishikesh?

No, that’s not the answer.

Duty comes first. Matters of the home and the family take priority.

Why duty takes priority

We are bound by the karma of our past actions. This bound karma comes to fruition as situations and relationships in our day-to-day experience.

Everything we perceive and experience is down to karma we have previously bound. There is no getting away from it. All we can do is face up to the situations that arise, calmly, patiently, lovingly. That calm response contributes to more fruitful future situations.

So how do we have a great time, regardless of the situations that we find ourselves in?

Joy within a duty-bound life

In amongst the seemingly ordinary family life, there is a way to love and enjoy every single moment of it.

When you wake up, realise that this day is your last — and live accordingly.

So does that mean drop everything, indulge in all kinds of sensual pleasures, and say “to hell with the consequences”?

Well, it didn’t work that way for me.

In fact, when I thought that this day may be my very last, I thought less about all the things that I would want to see and achieve and do.

Instead, I had a strong yearning for seeing what came up, who called for my attention, and I put my focus on that.

And something magical happened. My thoughts, attention and love honed in on that person, that situation, that event.

It was an unusually gorgeous sunny day in London, so I prepared three delicious vegan meals to enjoy in the garden with my wife.

The next day, the fridge was almost bare (after all the homecooked meals!) so I went grocery shopping. After a long day at the office, I was hungry and tired, but found myself playfully attending to the usually mundane task of shopping.

Throughout the day in the office, I was flooded with inbound emails and requests for support — but worked through them one by one, enjoying collaborating and troubleshooting with my colleague. The work day flew by and I loved every minute of it.

During the drive home from work there were patches of traffic, but I turned the radio up (I usually drive in silence) and cruised through enjoying the journey home.

Last day living

When you spend each day living as though it’s your last:

  • you willl prepare your meals lovingly, and then slowly enjoy the feast.
  • you will gladly wash the dishes after dinner and enjoy a clean kitchen sink.
  • everyday routines will feel brand new each time.
  • work, nomatter how boring you thought it was, will become fulfilling.
  • home life will transform into a warm energy-filled environment.
  • day-to-day tasks such as grocery shopping will become joyful.
  • your relationships, all of them, from the most intimate through to casual interactions with colleagues, will feel effortless.

Are you prepared to live today as though it’s your last?

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